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I loved Mad Magazine when I was a kid. The irreverent humor, the pinpoint-accurate drawings, the fold-over illustration in the back, the weirdness of each issue when digesting the whole shebang — I can see why Mom wasn’t all that happy when I used to peruse this cynical stuff.
On the flipside of its goofy exterior, Mad was observant, modern, often hilarious, and whip smart — usually smarter than what was produced by the writers of the shows and movies highlighted in the publication. It’s hard to believe young people once paid for and were entertained by a cartoon magazine you subscribed to or bought from the grocery store newsstand, but they were.
I remember in particular a Mad issue I bought from December of 1982 that had Rocky III in it (currently available for $9.95 on eBay), and another from October of 1983 that had Return of the Jedi (currently $20.99 on eBay).
Which brings me to my own creation of a sad-sack version of Mad back in the early 1980s. I called it Laugh Magazine, and it had a glorious run of one free issue. I did the cruddy drawings and sometimes funny writing and then secured the pages by putting green wire through three holes on the left side of the issue, using a hole puncher. No one must have wanted the thing because I stuffed the pages in a box for decades and forgot I’d attempted the endeavor.
Until now. The issue is available, folks — check out the PDF below — for public indigestion. Below the issue are helpful prompts to clarify the magazine’s cryptic content. I don’t think this is too bad for a preteen kid. In fact, some of the material cracks me up to this day.
And the movies I selected to lampoon? You guessed it! Rocky III, renamed Socky III, and Return of the Jedi, renamed Return of the Mad Guy.
Give it a read and tell me in the comments what you think.
Helpful prompts to better enjoy the issue!
Laugh Magazine cover: Illustration of Clubber Lang socking Socky. I wrote that “you get this poster,” followed by “look at back of magazine,” where there is no such poster. On the left side, Socky is bending to his left, I guess in an attempt to exercise. In the top left, it’s noted the issue is free. Why is there a Pac Man with teeth included alongside the title? Your guess is as bad as mine.
Page 2, frame 1: In a flashback to Rocky II, Socky and Apollo Creed are both on the mat in the boxing ring, attempting to get up before the 10 count by the referee.
Page 2, frame 5: The character Paulie, Socky’s brother-in-law and renamed Fattie in Laugh Magazine, is throwing his beer bottle at a pinball machine that has the hilarious Atari branding on its side. Curiously, Paulie has a happy look on his face.
Page 2, frame 6: Fattie goes to jail for his destructive actions against the pinball machine.
Page 3, frame 1: Socky stops by the jailhouse to bail out his brother-in-law. In the background, a sign reads “Reserved for Slobs Only!”
Page 3, frame 6: Fattie amazingly knocks out Socky, who is suddenly a giant compared to the miniscule Fattie.
Page 4: A quick boxing match between Socky and Clubber Lang, who is renamed in Laugh Magazine as Flubber Fang. The results ain’t pretty for Socky. Meantime, Socky’s trainer, Sickey, is dying and tells the boxer before the fight that he feels “lousy.”
Pages 5 and 6: Apollo Creed enters the fray in an attempt to train Socky. The trainer is jokingly referred to as Bozo the Clown. Sadly, the moniker sticks. Oof.
Note: The wording in frames 3 and 6 on page 5 are cut off by the hole puncher. Frame 3 has rewritten text that says “No, Bozo the Clown;” the text in frame 6 reads “I feel riduculous (sic).”
Page 7: The shortest boxing rematch in history ends with … well, I won’t spoil the ending for you.
Page 8: The start of the story Return of the Mad Guy begins with a dorky exchange among the characters Luke Skywalker, C-3PO, and Chewbacca.
Page 9: Inexplicably, the Return of the Mad Guy title is on this page, I guess making the previous page a meaningless prologue.
Page 10: A wormy-looking Jabba the Hut enters the tale and sends Luke down a pit where the beast Rancor awaits. Hilariously, in frame 4, it says “Made by the same company that made Jaws” on Rancor’s belly.
Pages 11-13: Luke is urged to step off of a platform into “the pit of the hungry”; he later visits Yoda and confronts Obi-Wan Kenobi; he informs Princess Leia that she’s his sister; and he finds out that Darth Vader is his father — one big happy family.
Two great lines from Return of the Mad Guy:
Luke: Guess what, Leia? You’re my sister? Want to play tag?
and …
Darth Vader to Luke: “Son, have you eaten your veggies?”
Luke’s response: “Ben was right. Mom was the only smart one.”
The end.
Mercifully. Thanks for indulging me.